your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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