I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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