Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize