Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
