he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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