my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
