Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize