it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
