I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
