You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
