Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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