if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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