Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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