Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
