I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Two words: nipple clamps
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