every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize