i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
