I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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