Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it's like iHOP with fire
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
