can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's just like the Real World with babies
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
