i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
