my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize