My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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