when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
