They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Ketchup is God's man juice
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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