My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
