First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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