Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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