I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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