If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
