The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
