I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
