so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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