im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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