what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
