At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
