if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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