she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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