You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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