too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
