I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize