it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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