it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
