Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
