I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
