Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize