she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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