ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
