What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize