What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
