What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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