My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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