Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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