The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
