I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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