Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
