where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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