At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Randomize
