Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
