So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he thought i was a dude.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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