I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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