Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Can I color on your dick again?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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