batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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