please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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