Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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