He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
