Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
