It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
