i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
