im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
