Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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